In terms of sports, I’ve had a couple over the years that I’ve actually enjoyed and found a knack for. One of them was running.

I guess it doesn’t count for much but when I was in middle school, I landed a spot on the track team every year. I was never good at long distance running, since I have a terrible idea of how to pace myself, but I seemed to be pretty good at sprinting. I’d always rep my age group at the 100m. I feel like I’ve always been an all or nothing person, maybe that’s why I don’t know how to pace myself.

I’ve been doing a lot of running lately too. But the race I’m running is long, and lately I’ve only been running in the opposite direction I’m supposed to be, running away from my problems, my responsibilities, my God.

It’s really easy to start running away from God after you’ve sinned. You’re just so brought down by guilt and shame that you can’t face Him, so feeling unworthy, I run away from God.

But that’s not how it’s supposed to be. It’s almost as if I don’t believe that God’s grace and mercy is enough, as if I don’t believe that God won’t love me still, as if I don’t believe how surpassing the love of my Lord is. I’m so caught up in my own sin that I continue to push God away, as if I know better than Him, that I can’t be with Him.

It’s almost selfish really, and I guess, in a way, it discredits God.

Who am I to say that God can’t save me, that He won’t be able to overcome my sin. He knew my sins before I even committed them, who am I to judge myself before the judge.

Yes, sin is terrible, and God can’t stand sin, but Jesus’ sacrifice is even bigger than the weight of my sin. I need to start remembering that.

Maybe I need to start listening to my own advice. Maybe I need to start running.

But this time, I’m running towards the cross.

Because if I put it anywhere else I won’t find it.

• Figure out reunion shenanigans for PURITY SR AND JR
• VBS Singspiration + Food Plannings
• Gear Check  (DO THIS ASAP)
• Mind Maps (ASAP)
• Clarence’s Birthday Present
• Singing
• Clean Room
• Go through Emails
• Update WAY Website
• Memorize Psalm 103
• Write out Geography notes
• Do extra credit assignments
• Prayer Letter

I screw up. A lot.

In fact, I’ve screwed up multiple times this week. I just can’t seem to get a hold of myself. It’s stupid, it cuts into my time, and all it does is make me feel guilty after.

But I guess understanding the Gospel is understanding we’re all screw ups. I guess understanding the Gospel means understanding the weight of our sin, but then understanding the magnitude of Jesus’ sacrifice and the extent of God’s love gracy and mercy.

That there is no extent, because there is no limit. It’s immeasurable.

Maybe that’s why it’s so mind boggling. We live in a finite world where there are limitations, in a society where justice needs to be served.

Maybe that’s why we feel like we’re not worthy of the gospel, but the whole point is the fact that we ARE NOT worthy. We are made complete through Jesus’ actions on the cross, not our sinful nature or the attempts we make for perfection.

We can never gain perfeciton for ourselves, rather perfection has been claimed and gifted to us.

Maybe we just don’t understand the Gospel as much as we think we do then.

Stop raging.

Please.